Congratulations—you’re engaged! Now that you’ve found that special someone to build a future with, the most exciting time of your life is about to begin. Enjoy this moment and take time to remember the feeling.

ANNOUNCE YOUR ENGAGEMENT

You have big news—so pick the right time and place to let everyone know. Family dinners or holiday parties are perfect—everybody’s there to help you celebrate. You’ll have to tell some people over the phone, but try to share this news in person with as many as you can. It's not often we get to celebrate something so exciting! Once you’ve told those closest to you, think about your wedding date, or at least the time of year. Then, submit your announcement with an engagement photo to local papers.

DREAM YOUR PERFECT WEDDING

Most brides have pictured their wedding since they were very young. Now that your wedding is about to happen, let yourself dream again. Think of the perfect setting, see yourself in the dress of your dreams, hear the music, smell the flowers and imagine the cake. Aim for the things that make you happy without worrying about expense or practicality. When you develop your wedding plan, you can choose those parts of the dream most important to you and eliminate those that aren’t essential. In this way, you’ll come closest to the wedding you’ve always imagined.

GETTING ORGANIZED

Consider A Wedding Consultant.
If you don’t have the time to handle a lot of details, a wedding consultant can make wedding planning easy and will provide many creative ideas for you. A wedding consultant is particularly helpful in planning an out-of-town wedding.

CREATE A PLANNER

Keep all your notes, brochures, magazine tear-outs, ideas and contact numbers in one place. You can purchase a formal wedding planner at a bookstore, or a simple three-ring binder will do the trick.

Most importantly, have a system that works for YOU. Start brainstorming with your fiancé, friends and family.

Whatever your situation is, be sure to know how your wedding will be paid for before you begin your planning. It’s a lot easier to cut back in the beginning than later on.

THE GUEST LIST

Start building a complete and accurate guest list. Confirm spelling, zip codes and apartment numbers. Use this list not only for your wedding invitations and thank you notes, but to share with your shower hosts for their invitations. Ideally, a computer file would be the most convenient way of maintaining a database of names. If you don’t have access to a computer, an index card file also works well. Keep your file in alphabetical order with current address information.

You should also note on each card the following:

• Which showers should they be invited to?
• Have you sent an invitation?
• Have they responded Yes or No?
• Gift name and date received
• Date Thank You sent

Remember that you won’t know exactly how many guests you can invite until you decide on your reception location and know the capacity—but get started early because it’s a big job.

DEVELOPING THE BUDGET

Know What You Can Afford

Begin your planning with a realistic approach towards the budget. Have an idea of the style you want to create on your wedding day and trust that there are many ways to get it-and not all of them have to drain your bank account.

Who Pays For What?

Traditionally, the mother and father of the bride assume financial responsibility for everything except flowers and liquor, which are paid for by the groom's parents.

Today, however, when it comes to funding a wedding-anything goes! Possible arrangements include:

• Splitting the costs equally between families.
• You and your fiancé may wish to pay for the wedding yourselves, especially if you have established careers and a good income.
• Have your parents and your fiancé's parents pay for any guests they invite.
• Parents may simply have a dollar amount they wish to contribute to your "wedding fund".
• List wedding costs and allow parents to pick and choose the expenses they can cover comfortably.

CONTROLLING YOUR COSTS

Flexibility is the Key

There are many options for each element of your wedding-a little creative thinking can help you keep wedding costs in line. Here are some things to remember:

Food Budget

In most cases, food will be the most costly portion of your wedding. The good news-your menu also offers you the greatest flexibility for trimming the budget.

Not all weddings require full dinners with an open bar. Depending on the time of day, a brunch or luncheon that offers lighter fare can be truly delightful-not to mention more affordable.

Choose the elements of your menu very carefully, and consider less expensive substitutions for hors d'oeuvres and entrees if cost is an issue. Cocktail receptions and open houses are also very popular and aren't nearly as costly as a full dinner.

Liquor

To control costs, be conservative in the length of your open bar period, or limit your options to champagne or beer and wine only. Most people will have a wonderful time even with limited liquor choices. It may even help avoid problems from that one guest who always overindulges at the open bar.

Champagne punches, mulled wines or sangria are festive liquor options that can really stretch the budget, so keep them in mind.

You may want to ask about buying your own liquor instead of relying on your caterer to purchase it for you. You can stock up when the prices are good at discount liquor stores. Although this may not be an option at hotels, it doesn't hurt to ask.

Limit the Guest List

Here's a great alternative if you have your heart set on a full dinner with all the trimmings: review your guest list again and again and cut wherever possible. It may be worth it to you to have a smaller group instead of sacrificing the lavish dinner, or vice versa.

Get it in Writing

Wherever you decide to have your reception, you will want to get all your costs in writing to avoid any surprises. Be prepared to spend time reviewing your contract in detail and be sure to ask questions. You should know exactly what's included and what's not.

You will also want to shop around for the best package, and let your prospects know you are doing so. This will prompt them to be up front and they are more likely to offer you a competitive bid.

CHOOSING YOUR PERSONAL STYLE

Since every couple has their own special style, it only makes sense that their wedding should reflect who they are. This personal style is what makes a wedding special and should be carried out consistently in all aspects of the celebration.

Here are a few things to consider that will help create your overall wedding style. Once you have developed this style in your own mind, you can build your wedding around it and start creating a day that is one-of-a-kind.

• Do you have a preference for a certain era? (i.e., contemporary, vintage 20's, Victorian, Renaissance, etc.)
• Do you prefer certain colors, fabrics or flowers?
• Do you have a certain dress style or length in mind?
• Time of Year-Spring and Summer can offer you more casual flexibility, even outdoors, while Fall and Winter are perfect seasons for formal candlelight receptions.
• Time of Day-Morning and afternoon weddings are typically followed by brunch or luncheon receptions, while late afternoon or evening weddings precede cocktail or dinner receptions.
• Ethnic Customs-ethnicity and family traditions may play a big role in determining your wedding celebration. This applies to both the ceremony and the reception. Wedding traditions can vary from country to country, region to region, and even from state to state. Be sure to keep family customs-both sides-in mind when planning your day.
• Indoor vs. Outdoor-A garden atmosphere with a gazebo or tent will create an entirely different feel than a formal hotel, country inn or banquet hall.

Try to limit your ideas of ceremony and reception locations to a manageable number and then start visiting them. Ask about rates, availability and services included. Remember to get everything in writing pertaining to money, i.e., deposits, etc.

Keep notes on the number of guests each facility can accommodate and any restrictions they have.

Visit churches/synagogues and find out about their wedding policies, spiritual preparation requirements (i.e. pre-cana classes), ceremony options, fees, restrictions and availability.

You can choose your date based on the information you have gathered at each location. Once you have carefully reviewed your options for both the ceremony and reception, choose what fits your style and budget best and set the date. Make sure your date is appropriate for your honeymoon plans and work schedules.

CONSIDER THE OFF SEASON

Many reception halls have peak seasons and are willing to discount your fees if you choose a less hectic month or a Sunday reception instead of a Saturday night. Also, if you are planning a hotel wedding, consider going outside of the "big city" and investigate your options at local airport or suburban hotels. You may find you get more for your money.

Once you have chosen your date, you can start booking other services-photographer, florist, limousine, etc.

CHOOSING YOUR CATERER

If your wedding reception is at a hotel or banquet facility, the you will most likely not need a caterer. You will rely on their staff to provide the services you need. If you do require outside catering services, here are a few things to keep in mind:

• Be aware of your budget at all times-and stick to it!
• Know the approximate number of guests when you talk to caterers.
• Know your style and hire some one who will work hard to achieve it.
• Don't be afraid to challenge a caterer's ideas if they contradict yours.
• Review as many menu options as possible that stay within your budget and reflect your theme.
• Get recommendations from friends and recent brides. Also, check the caterer's references.
• Sample the caterer's food and visit an upcoming event.
• Ask questions-especially regarding the services included and details in the contract. Review the contract over and over again.
• Be involved in the choices to the degree that you want. Communicate your expectations and involvement up front.
• How flexible is your caterer? Can he/she trim costs if necessary? How good are they at "crisis management"?
• Shop around and get quotes.
• Make sure your personalities click.You will be spending a lot of time together, perhaps for many months.
• Always remember… this is your day,so get what you want.

TRANSPORTATION

You will need transportation services for the following:

From home to the ceremony for bride and bridesmaids, groom and groomsmen.

From the ceremony to the reception for bride and groom and wedding party.

From the reception to the wedding night hotel for the bride and groom.

IDEAS FOR TRANSPORTATION

• Rented limousines or luxury cars.
• Horse and carriage.
• Vintage cars.
• Trolley or streetcar.
• Ferry.
• Friends or family.

MUSIC

How can you find a good quality band or disk jockey? One good way is to ask friends for recommendations-someone you know has probably attended a wedding lately. You can also contact your local musicians' union. They can put you in touch with artists who will meet your needs. If possible, try to arrange to hear performers in advance-it's the best way to be sure of hiring musicians who play the style and repertoire you want.

Ceremony Ideas:

• Vocalist, harpist, guitarist, adult/children's choir, trumpet, flute, piano, organ.

Reception Ideas:

• Harpist, violinist, piano, flute, band/orchestra, disc jockey.

You may want to have one form of music during cocktail hour and another for after-dinner dancing.

PHOTOGRAPHER

When your wedding day is over, all you will have left are your memories and the photographs to keep for years to come. So make sure you have the best photographer you can afford.

Start by looking at albums of family and friends and ask around for references. Look for ads in local bridal magazines.

Before you select your photographer, do your homework and know what you want. The options are limitless:

• Black & white or color, or both?
• Posed shots vs. candids?
• Portraits in studio or at wedding?
• How many family and guest shots?
• What do you want your album to look like?
• Inside or outside shots?

Make sure your photographer is easy to work with and has a clear understanding of what you want. Find out all costs, including shooting time, proofs, packages, prints, retouching and specials.

Provide your photographer in advance with a "shot list". This will serve as a schedule for him to plan his day and will help ensure he gets all your requests on film.

In addition to your professional photographer, you can also ask friends to bring cameras. Sometimes the best shots are those taken by an amateur.

Another fun idea that is gaining popularity is having disposable cameras at each guest table. Your guests can have fun throughout your reception capturing the moments that your photographer can't.

YOUR WEDDING VIDEO

The beauty of video is that you can preserve your wedding-exactly as it happened-for years to come. It also allows you to see your wedding from a different perspective when you return from your honeymoon. You'll be surprised how much of your wedding was a blur until you see your video.

As with the photographer, be sure to see sample tapes and get references. Shop around and get costs up front for shooting time, editing and duplication.

Know the type of wedding video you want. You may prefer an entire "production", featuring childhood clips and special effects. Or you may just want simple highlights from the ceremony and reception. Be aware that the prices will vary widely for each of these. Your videographer should know exactly what your expectations are.

TIPS ON CHOOSING YOUR REGISTRY

Just like your wedding, your home should reflect a certain style that both you and your new groom have decided upon. Help each other visualize how each room should look. Make suggestions and exchange ideas. Be sure to get the input of your fiancé. Some men have a hands-off approach to registering-and prefer it that way, while others want to be actively involved.

Designate one weekend to look at as many different styles of china, furniture and glassware as possible. Try to see as much as you can. Once you like what you see overall, you can choose the stores that will carry your registry. Be sure to inquire about shipping and exchange policies. For your guests' convenience, try to have at least one store that is easily accessible to most people-especially those out of state.

Choose items that are functional and well-made. After all, this is the only time in your life that you get to do this. You want your gifts to last. Be cautious of trends.

If you need the basics, such as pots and pans, towels and dinnerware, don't get too carried away with registering for accessories such as picture frames and nut dishes. Register for the things you need first. Also, register for a variety of things that have different price tags. This gives your guests a little more flexibility in choosing a gift that fits their budget.

China can be particularly expensive, so beware. If you choose a high-end pattern, understand that many guests can only spend a reasonable amount and won't feel comfortable giving you a teacup or one dinner plate as a wedding gift, despite the value.

Stay organized and check off gifts on your list as you get them. As you begin receiving gifts, be sure to record them in your guest card file and send thank-you notes appropriately. Make sure the store's registry is accurate and inform them of anything that needs to be changed or corrected. Remember, don't count on all your gifts to come from your registry. You will be surprised what you get, so keep a sense of humor.

THE DRESS SEARCH

If you're looking for a traditional style gown, there are more than you can imagine at the many bridal shops around town. If you desire something a little more unusual or casual, don't overlook the evening wear departments of fine clothing stores. Some brides are even lucky at vintage clothiers or antique shops.

Choose a dress style that reflects your overall wedding theme and one that you feel comfortable wearing. Most brides say they know right away when they've found the dress that's right. Don't get frustrated if the search is a long one. You are bound to find the dress that's for you.

A good rule to remember is: you should always wear the dress-don't let the dress wear you. When it comes to detailing-lace, ribbons, pearls and bows-more is not always better. Don't let yourself be overpowered by your dress. The same rule applies to headpieces.

Choose a waistline and neckline that accent your best feature-hips, waist, bust or shoulders. Similarly, your dress should downplay your most unflattering features. If you are lucky enough to fit into a sample size-usually Size 10 or smaller-you may find a great buy off the rack.

Some dress manufacturers can offer additional services to help you find the dress you want. For instance, if you are having a winter wedding and love a particular dress that only comes in short sleeves, see if the manufacturer can add sleeves for an extra cost. They will also add extra length for tall brides.

Don't squeeze into a dress that doesn't fit-it will show. Have a professional tailor do the necessary alterations, with the final changes made as close to your wedding day as possible. Remember, you will be moving around a lot on your wedding day. Kneeling, bending and dancing will make comfort a priority, so don't choose a style that's too restricting or revealing when you move.

Don't forget about your budget. If money gets tight, consider a bridal resale shop or consult a seamstress to have your dress made.

Religious backgrounds of both bride and groom will dictate a lot when planning a ceremony. If you and your groom are from different religious backgrounds you may want to incorporate elements of both religions into your ceremony. After all, a marriage is the joining of two people and their backgrounds, customs and families. Be open with family members when it comes to planning the ceremony and anything sentimental. Encourage discussions whenever possible.

Your wedding program is a great way to personalize your ceremony. Here are some suggestions for planning a ceremony that's straight from the heart:

• Choose music and biblical readings or verses that have particular meaning to you and your fiancé, or to the family.
• Share unique family stories about yourselves with your priest, rabbi, or minister.
• Invite special friends or loved ones to participate as lectors, ushers ormusicians.
• Write your own vows.
• Explain in the program, your relationship to each member of your wedding party. This allows all of your guests to know your wedding party a little bit better.
• Remember deceased relatives in the ceremony or with a special note or poem.
• Write a special thank-you to your guests and family members for bringing you together and for sharing in your joy.
• Family heirlooms such as wedding gowns, jewelry or linens are a wonderful way to make your wedding one to cherish.

SELECTING YOUR WEDDING CAKE

Wedding cake designs, like wedding dresses, come in varied styles-contemporary, Victorian, floral-inspired and traditional. Choosing the cake design perfect for your wedding is not difficult. The Wilton collection of bridal cake books is a wonderful source of ideas and designs to help you select the cake of your dreams. Each includes decorating directions to provide to your baker.

You can also get inspiration from bridal magazines and wedding publications. Looking through wedding books will help you focus on the design you want, matched to your theme and color.

Wedding cakes are available through many sources-the caterer for your reception, your favorite bakery, a professional decorator. Shop around! Pick a reputable source and trust them to provide you with ideas and examples of cakes to choose from; or take a more personalized approach and provide your own cake design. Supply such basic information as the size cake you will need (number of servings) and reception site and time. Ask about price, especially if you are providing the design, and if a deposit is required. Inquire if different flavors and fillings are available.